I'm Just a Guy: Who's AngrySample

Owning the Emotion

There have been times in my life when I was so angry I couldn’t even think.
Recently, I was reminded of one of those moments—a time when my anger toward a close friend burned so deeply, we didn’t speak for nearly 20 years.

When I met my first wife, I had all but turned my back on God. My life was consumed with racing, motorcycles, and anything that could numb the loneliness I was feeling. So when she gave me attention, I dove in headfirst, ignoring the warning signs and pushing aside anyone who questioned the path I was on.

One of those people was my childhood friend. He saw what I couldn’t—or refused—to see. Out of love, he confronted me about the direction of my life. But instead of hearing concern, I heard judgment. I lashed out. Like a cornered animal, I fought back hard.

With every word he said, I laid another brick in the wall that would eventually separate us. That conversation destroyed a relationship we had built since elementary school. Why?
Because I let anger make the decision for me.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned something valuable: God gives us emotions like anger, but they are meant to be indicators, not decision makers.

Anger, like a dashboard warning light, signals that something deeper is going on under the surface. The light itself isn’t dangerous—but if you ignore what it’s pointing to, things can break.

It strikes me that anger indicates the parts of us that we don’t want to be aware of, at least when it is anger without reflection. Most of us will respond to the vulnerability of exposing parts we don’t want to see with protection of those parts, hence anger.

For me, that anger was rooted in fear—fear of being alone. And when that fear was threatened, anger exploded like gasoline on a fire.

Maybe today you're angry. Maybe someone confronted you, or life feels like it’s spinning out of control.
Ask yourself this: What’s the dashboard light trying to show me?

Instead of reacting, I encourage you to take some time to reflect. Bring your anger to God. He’s not afraid of it—but He doesn’t want it to rule you either.

Reflection Questions

1. What fear most often fuels your anger?
2. What fear might be fueling your anger?