Overcome Porn: The 40 Day Challenge Sample

Day 21: Love connection (pursuing real intimacy)

God built us for relationships. Created in His image, we are relational beings just as He is relational.

We often tend to confuse intimacy with our desire for sex. And indeed sexual intimacy is a big part of the marriage relationship! But intimacy is deeper than “messing around” or even actual intercourse. Intimacy (or “Into-Me-See”) is about knowing and being known by the other. It includes trust, confidence, and mutual support—in other words, friendship.

True intimacy means we allow another person, whether our spouse or just a good friend, to see inside of us, to let ourselves be seen truly for who we are. We hold nothing back and in turn we experience love, acceptance, and appreciation. We are valued and cherished. Then we do the same for the other person. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit live in this intimacy. God designed us for this unity. Christ even prays to God the Father that we might experience this intimacy (John 17:21).

Porn creates a parody of this by playing on our desires—not just our desire for sexual pleasure, but also for unity and connection.

In order to make a lasting break from pornography, we need to intentionally pursue intimacy with God and to love him the most (Matthew 22:37) as a trusted friend who cares for you (1 Peter 5:7), and then pursue intimacy with others.

Action Step

If you’re married, read “4 Ways Porn Kills Great Sex in Marriage.” In it you’ll learn about the importance of pursuing marital intimacy—not just sex—in order to change your habits.

If you’re single, read “Singleness and Longing: Why Porn Isn’t the Cure.” Here you’ll learn about how to pursue intimacy with others in a God-honoring way.

Reflection

What is the most applicable idea from the article you read? What relationships do you already have in place where you can pursue true intimacy?