Change Your Words, Change Your MarriageSample

 The Heart of the Issue 

The heart is the source of every word that comes out of your mouth. Yes, I said every word. I can hear the excuses now—I've used them all. “I didn't mean that. That just slipped out; I don't know where that originated. Are you sure I said that?”

If you want intimacy in your marriage and for your relationship to flourish and grow, then you need to do something about your heart. It is the source of every issue in life. But here's the rub: you can't do anything about your heart (Job 17:9-10, Ps. 119: 23-24). So, what's a person to do?

I've got good news and bad news about your heart. Let's start with the bad news, because it is very freeing and encouraging. The condition of your heart will never be a measure of your efforts. Only God, through the Holy Spirit, can change your heart (Ex 36:26). There is no self-help program, 5-Step Guide to Purity of Heart, or workout routine that will change your heart. Take a deep breath; changing your heart is not about hard work.

There is good news. God wants your heart healed and whole. And He has given you two majestic helpers. The Holy Spirit will guide, strengthen, and transform your heart if you learn to close your mouth and be still before Him (Ps. 46:10, Rom. 2:29). God's Word will soften and restore your heart as you meditate on it and obey it (Ps. 19:7).

You are not off the hook when it comes to your heart—even though you can't do anything about it. Ask the Holy Spirit to sharpen your spiritual vision as you read what follows. It is the understanding you need to put into practice for the rest of your life if you want a heart that follows after God—a heart that can discern the Holy Spirit's leading and receive the things of the Spirit for your marriage.

You, and only you, have the direct responsibility from God to guard what comes in your heart and what comes out of it—the words. Every issue you face in your marriage, every decision you make, and the very intimacy and unity of your relationship all hinges on your capacity to guard your heart (Prov. 4:23).

Fasting words—partnered with prayer—has the creative power to change the course of your life and the atmosphere of your marriage.