Most of us take the time to try to look as nice as we can on holidays - especially holidays like Valentine's Day. We revisit that mindset we lived in when we were dating. Not only do we seek to make our appearance attractive but also our spirits. We try to maintain an open, positive spirit on Valentine's Day or on special occasions.
We spend the extra effort to pick out what clothes we are wearing and make sure our hair is in place. We limit our complaints or outward displays of disappointment and frustration. Many of us even try to watch our weight during special seasons. We know the importance of attraction like we did when our marriage was a dating relationship and romantic holidays seek to remind us to do our part in looking attractive to our mate as well as being attractive in our attitudes and actions.
Yet somewhere along the line throughout the remainder of the 364 days of the year, many of us lose this attentiveness to our own attractiveness.
It could be the futility of the familiar or the duties that drained our energy which contribute to this loss of effort. Whatever the case, attraction within a marriage is just as important to pay attention to, if not more so, than in a dating relationship or just on holidays. Why? Because the habitual has a way of dulling the shine or lessening the mystique. Unfortunately, the tyranny of the typical may lower appeal rather than increase it.
Saying “I do” didn’t reduce any hormones or harden any hearts. We are human and whether married or not, most of us still enjoy the feeling of attraction. Which is why maintaining your personal appearance, hygiene and attitudes while married ought to be a high value for both spouses.
What are some things you can do to remain attractive to your spouse? You can start by revisiting the things you did when you were dating. Attractiveness is unique to each person. It doesn’t mean outside beauty for every person. It doesn't mean dressing up for everyone either, or being pencil thin – or even wearing make-up if you are a woman or having a six-pack stomach if you are a man. It could be your laugh. The gentle look in your eyes, the soft touch, listening ear - positive affirmations toward your spouse. Whatever it was that you did when dating or on special days like Valentine's Day which draws your spouse toward you, consider whether or not you are still doing these things on a regular basis.
Romans 12:10 may not be seen as a typical Valentine's Day verse, and it may not show up in any cards given on this day, but it is a verse that captures the sentiment of the season. When applied to your marriage on a regular basis, it will infuse your intimacy with authenticity, grace and mutual attraction. We read, "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Devote yourself to the honor of your spouse, what that looks like is different for every couple but the outcome is the same - mutual love.
Want to discover more ways to strengthen your marriage? You will in Prayers of Blessing Over My Marriage. It comes with helpful insights and guided prayers on over twenty topics. You can also find daily prayer posts on InstaGram: @capandbuttercup