Changing Soils

Week 3: Engaging the Lost

Big Idea: God has intentionally placed us around the people in our lives to share with them about Him. Today we will walk through how to have intentional conversations that discover spiritual interest without creeping others out. We will look at John 4 and how Jesus did this in his encounter with the woman at the well. People will walk out equipped and empowered to take next steps with the people they have been praying for.

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:17-20, John 4

Introduction

Experience is way more powerful than information. You can know all there is to know about giving birth but you really don’t know much till you’re yelling for more morphine after 5 hours of labor. You can read lots of books on skydiving but nobody is going to ask you to teach any classes till you’ve jumped out of some planes at a few thousand feet yourself. You can have the taste of a Chick Fil A Sandwich described to you but one bite is worth a thousand words. We could come up with a bunch more examples but I think we already agree, experience is way more powerful than information.

We’re in week 3 of a series called Changing Soils and looking at how to become people that are living on the fruitful good soil that Jesus describes in Matthew 13. We discussed in week one that we can’t fall for the lie that the Thorny Soil or what we defined as Too Busy is simply a second best option for Christians. That’s a lie from Satan himself and if our lives are better described by the words “too busy” instead of “spiritually fruitful” that will eventually lead us away from God and have ripple effects on other lives and generations to come.

So last week we said that we need to develop simple habits in our lives if we are going to have 30, 60 or even 100 people who have been inspired to follow Jesus and make disciples as well. Becoming a disciple maker isn’t about trying really hard, it’s about training. That’s what we are doing here and why we are reading a daily devotional book on the topic these past few weeks as well. We introduced the first habit of prayer and I won’t do a review but by a show of hands how many people started a prayer calendar this past week?

Main Teaching

Prayer is not optional, it’s a necessity but once we’ve prayed God also calls us to engage with those who don’t know Him. We are going to get very practical in how to do that today but first I want to speak into who is actually called to do this. Lets open our Bible up to 2 Corinthians

We love to quote verse 17 because it’s such a powerful truth. Once we are in Christ, He actually makes us a new creation and gives us a fresh start. Look at what Paul says about HOW we became a new creation and WHAT is our response. We have become new, because God has reconciled himself to us. The word reconcile simply means to bring together two sides that were once estranged. So, Jesus reconciled us with God through his death on the cross. He also gave us the same ministry of reconciliation to others. In verse 20 he takes it a step further calling us God’s ambassadors, as though Christ were making his appeal through us. Ambassadors represent someone else and have the ability to speak on their behalf. A United States Ambassador represents and speaks for our president to the country they’ve been assigned.

All this to say, disciple making is not something we do, it’s who we are as a new creation in Christ. It’s easy to make up excuses why we “can’t” engage with those who don’t know Christ. “It’s not my spiritual gift?”. “I am too new in my faith.”, “I am naturally an introvert.”, “I don’t know enough about the Bible.” These may seem very real but they are not valid to God. No matter who you are, if you are in Christ your ministry is reconciliation and your identity is His ambassador. This makes what we are talking about next incredibly important for us all.

The next question to deal with is, where do I start? I’m going to teach you a Greek word today that means more than delicious yogurt. Oikos is used all over the New Testament and it means your close natural network of friends and family that you do life with. For a normal person that’s usually 8-15 people made up from where you live, work and play. You are to start your journey as a disciple maker with your Oikos. These are people God has intentionally placed in your life to help them reconcile to God. Today we are going to give you a simple tool to help that happen, but let me first speak into two possible reactions.

My whole oikos are already Christians. Does anybody relate to this? If that’s the case this is awesome news, and you should thank God for that. There is a danger though as well here. The longer you are a Jesus follower the easier it is to insulate your life to only spending time with other Christians. We are going to look at a story today on what to do if you are in that situation. It starts with intentionally going to places that you normally wouldn’t go or even places that you shouldn’t go. There are so many people in need of Jesus, but it will take stepping out of our comfort zones.

I’ve tried to share with my oikos already and they are not interested. Does anyone relate with this issue? This should further intensify our commitment to praying systematically for the people God has placed in our life. It also should cause us to reflect on our strategy we’ve used to reach out. Maybe it’s time to try someone new, I’ll share a tool that could be very helpful for those in this situation.

In John 4 Jesus takes his disciples on a little field trip that they would have never voluntarily signed up for.

I want to key in on verse 4. Jesus didn’t actually have to go through Samaria. In fact, his disciples would have thought he had an obligation to avoid it. In that culture the Jews and Samaritans despised each other, and Jesus definitely knew this. Think about the relationship between the Taliban and those who lost a loved one on 9/11. While walking through Samaria was the straightest route to get from Judea to Galilee it wasn’t the common route. Jesus was teaching his very confused disciples that to reach people that no one else is reaching you need to go places no one else is going. Let's continue reading John 4.

Once again Jesus does something incredibly unexpected. He strikes up a conversation with a Samaritan woman. Not only was it completely out of bounds to talk to a Samaritan, but it was also equally breaking cultural rules for a man to initiate a conversation with a woman. Yet Jesus does it anyway because conversations are necessary if we are going to make disciples and live our lives in the fruitful soil.

I want to share with you a simple tool known as the Conversation Circle (Conversation Quadrant that was first created by Paul Watson with Contagious Disciple Making.) It will help you in conversations with people within your oikos or to total strangers. In your notes draw 4 boxes top and bottom and left and right.

Notice Jesus started this conversation with the woman very casually and simply asks for a drink of water. This is how we already start conversations as well, so it won’t be too tough. Comments about the weather or asking simple questions about where someone is from or what school their kids go to. Often that’s as far as it goes but we are going to change that since we are training to be disciple makers.

Jesus was the Son of God and didn’t have to follow a tool created 2000 years down the road but look at what he does next. Let’s jump back into our passage.

Jesus could have easily kept the conversation about simply being thirsty but instead he used it as an opportunity to deepen their conversation. On your picture draw an arrow from the top square to the right square and write in Meaningful Conversations. Jesus naturally transitioned the conversation to talking about eternal life and this woman’s painful romantic relationship history.

We can learn to transition conversations to meaningful ones as well. The secret is to ask good questions. Share your own weakness and ask for their input. Encourage them. Here are some ideas:

I’m trying to figure out what to do for ____________... I’d love your opinion.

Motherhood/new career/retirement/ _________ was so hard for me. How are you doing with it? What are your biggest challenges in this stage of life?

You seem to be really into ____________. Why is that?

You’re really good at _____________, how did you get that way?

Can you tell me about your tattoo? (There is almost always a story.)

Most of us are reading through the book 21 Days to Becoming a Disciple Maker during the week and the author goes way more in depth on this in chapter 9 but for now I’d just ask – don’t most people long for more meaningful talk anyways in life? By asking these questions you’re likely not offending you are actually a huge blessing to them.

Jesus once again intentionally moves the conversation along again. On your drawing add an arrow from the right box and point it down to the bottom box where you’ll add the words Spiritual Conversations. Now Jesus does a short teaching about what God was like, but for us we just need to introduce God into the conversation.

One of the simplest ways to do that is through an eight-word question that you need to memorize. “Has anyone ever prayed for you about that?” Can we all say this together? As you engage in meaningful conversation, listen for pain points and things they are really passionate about. Then naturally ask— There you go, you have just brought God into the conversation and made it a spiritual one. This could lead you to pray for them on the spot or at least identify if this is a person with some spiritual interest. Even more, we’ve been given the authority of Jesus to heal so it’s an opening for some amazing answers to prayer.

Another way to move a conversation to spirituality is to simply drip God in your normal conversation. Here are some other ways you can do that…

Express something you are grateful for and give God credit for it

Share about something that God recently taught you.
Tell about a miracle you’ve experienced or witnessed.
Disclose something you’re asking God to help you with.
Describe a trial you went through and how God helped.

In all these situations you are not turning them into preaching opportunities, you are bringing God into the conversation because He’s real and alive to you. You can do this!

On your drawing add an arrow from the spiritual conversation box to the left box and add the words Discovery Conversation in the box. In the story the woman discovers who Jesus was and then the whole village does too.

I know this sounds hypocritical as I am delivering a message to you but isn’t it true that a message discovered is more powerful than a message delivered. We learn and obey more when we discover something ourselves. As disciple makers we want to help others do the same.

So, as you continue to pray for someone (because that’s what disciple makers do) Ask God if there is a story in the Bible that might encourage that person. Let me give you an example…

If they shared some stress in their lives you could follow up a day or two later, “As I was thinking about you and praying for you a story came to mind that I think would be an encouragement to you. Could I share it with you?” These are some of the kindest words someone can say, “I was thinking about you.” Very few people at this point would ever refuse to hear the short story you have for them.

Then you could share in your own words the story of Jesus calming the storm (He was sleeping while they were freaking out) or Jesus visiting Mary and Martha (she was stressed about a great many things) If they are following along simply ask, “What stands out to you about that story and how could you apply it to what you’re going through?” Don’t turn it into a mini-sermon, let them discover truths and applications. You can even ask, “Could you think of anyone else in your life that would be encouraged by this story as well?” So often they will share some family members and now your one act of faith is impacting multiple people. Around the world where the gospel is exploding this is how disciple making relationships often begin.

Remember the conversation circle is a tool not a rule but could you see this being helpful as we seek to transition from the thorny soil to the fruitful?

Notice Jesus DIDN’T share everything she had ever done. She discovered through their conversation that Jesus was more than just a prophet. At the end of the story many others in her village had given their lives to Christ. They say to the woman in verse 42, “We no longer believe just because of what she said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.”

Conclusion

Last thing, before we close. Look at Jesus’ words to his disciples in the middle of all this.

Connect Jesus’ statements together. He tells his disciples that he has food that they know nothing about. Then a sentence later he says that his food is to do the will of God.

Essentially, he is saying, “You know nothing about the will of God!” Ouch! Then he follows up with a saying about the harvest not being 4 months in the future but being here and now.

I think here is what he was getting at. “Hey disciples, you just walked by this woman on your way into the village and saw her talking to me when you returned yet none of you even said a word to her. OPEN YOUR EYES! You just walked by the person that I’m going to use to reach this entire village. Revival is about to break out for the first time, and you’re concerned about lunch?”

After seeing a village of despised Samaritans turn to Jesus, I bet the disciples were never quite the same again. They experienced and participated in the ministry of reconciliation and would go on giving the rest of their lives for others to experience Jesus too. Next week we are going to talk about what you do when you find a person to disciple but for now will you continue praying and now searching for that person through having intentional conversations? Underneath your little drawing ask God to identify one person He wants you to apply what you learned with. Write their name down and believe that God will move on their behalf.

Let’s pray together.