Men's Rules for Women:
• If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an
answer you didn't want to hear.
• Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
• Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss topics such as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster
• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
• Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
• No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a
calendar you know we check.
• We're not mind-readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we
do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
• Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All
comments become null and void after seven days.
• If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
• You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not
• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
• Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
were going out.
• If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.