Title: Lust | Chastity

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Speaker: Tim Spanburg, TimS@ChristCommunityKC.org

Lust...pretends sex and pleasure are a party for one. Lust makes sexual pleasure all about me….In lust, sexual pleasure is divorced from love and mutual self-giving. And when we lust we certainly want nothing to do with giving life and the future commitments that it might bring…

Chastity is doing sex in the Body of Christ - doing sex in a way that befits the body of Christ, and that keeps you grounded, and bounded in the community...which means abstinence if you’re not married, and fidelity if you are… - Lauren Winner, Real Sex

How can my life - my thoughts, my choices, my emotional responses, my conversations, and my behavior - make me a person who is best prepared to give and receive love in relationship with others?

Conversation Starters – Shawnee Mission Campus

Date: June 11, 2017

Text: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

Title: Lust | Chastity

We realize that this is a difficult and heavy topic which requires a great deal of trust and vulnerability before discussing it with others. Therefore we would like to offer two different sets of questions for conversation starters. First, an overview of the series. Second, going deeper in the topic of lust and chastity. If you and your group feel comfortable then please divide up by gender and discuss the topic of lust. If however, you feel your group would be better served use the sermon overview questions then please use those questions.. Both are good options so do what’s best for your group! Thank you

Series Overview:

Lust/Chastity = BI - we must long for more than what lust desires

1.What has stood out to you the most throughout this sermon series?

2. What has been the hardest thing for you during this sermon series?

3. What is one thing you could use help in as you work moving from vice

to virtue?

4. Success stories (don’t worry - this doesn’t have to be vainglorious -

just give God the credit) = what is one virtue that you have seen

growth in? How has this virtue made a difference in your life?

5. What is one practical application that you are currently working on?

1. Confidentiality = Do you agree to be a safe place for this conversation and to hold confidentiality as long as no one is endangered by these comments?

2. Sex as a Gift = Scripture tells us that “sex is a gift we should desire” but sadly most of us grew up hearing and believing either “sex is gross” or “sex is God.” What is hard for you to believe about sex being a “gift from God that we should desire” and where do you struggle in regards to “sex being gross” or “sex being God?”

3. Lust as a Lie = Reid says “lust is a sexual desire on a one way street.” He also says “lust desires to little because it does not desire the other.” Lust is a lie which robs us of true intimacy and love. Where do you see this occurring in our culture? Where do you see this occurring in your own life (where are you tempted to lust)?

a) For some of us this lie is that we must find love by lusting upon

others.

b) but for some this lie is where we think we must find love by being

lusted after.

4. Chastity as a way forward = “We must long for more than what lust desires”Spend time looking over and discussing the list of applications from Reid in how to grow in Chastity. Then choose at least one are you want to grow in and share with the group a specific action plan of how you will work on this. Finally, ask the group to follow up and check in with you to keep you accountable.

a) Shine Light

-The vice of lust is like a fungus. It grows in the dark.

-Invite others into this conversation about your struggles.

-Secrecy and isolation are vice’s favorite tools.When we keep silent

about our sin it eats away at us.

-Ps 32:3 “for when I kept silent my bones wasted away through my

groaning all day long.”

b) Set Boundaries

- Internet filters and accountability software.

Covenant Eyes

X3 Watch

Ever Accountable

-Don’t give your children mobile devices without filters.

Circle by Disney

-Set your boundaries far from the edge

Know where you are vulnerable and most tempted.

Create your boundaries around that.

-Home alone

-Certain relationships

-Entertainment choices

c) Express Love

Express your love for your spouse, for your friends, for those you are

close to. Lust is able to grow the less we cultivate love in our

relationships.

-Remember, lust desires too little less because it doesn’t desire the

other.

-Fight the emptiness of lust with the fullness of love through your

words, thoughts, and actions.

Part of what this means is being a good friend

-We need to treat people as people and not commodities.

-We need to ask “How can I appreciate and care for this person”

instead of asking “How can I benefit from this person?”

5. Singleness = “We may need to be listened to, we may need someone to laugh with, we may need company. These are needs—sexual needs, broadly defined—that the Church should be ready to meet with joy.” I think we are misguided if we fail to see genuine friendship and community as a way to address sexual desire. How are we as a church family seeking to meet the needs that all of our people have for love and intimacy?

6. Grace = But while the wounds of our sexual sin cut deep, the grace of God through gospel of Jesus cuts deeper. A reminder that we are all broken and fail but the grace of God covers our sins.

7. Prayer = pray as need in the group but here are a few possible suggestions...

a) Pray for our hearts to be convicted of sin and to repent

b) Pray that our conviction does not turn to condemnation (we are

forgiven)

c) Pray to see sex as a gift

d) Pray to see lust as a lie

e) Pray for courage to seek chastity and to find accountability

f) Pray for those in need of grace who have been sexually wronged