Fresh Fire For Couples


Build the Bridge to Communication

Let’s face it, men and women communicate differently. Some would even say we speak different languages. Never have we found this statement to be truer until marriage. 

When men communicate they often communicate with the "give them the meat, throw away the bone mentality." However, women often want the meat, the bone, the fat, the seasoning, the marinade, the cooking temperature, and the cook time type of conversations. 

Problems will arise in relationships / marriages if we don’t learn to communicate on a level that our significant other best receives from. Ladies, this means at times we must be okay with giving our men the short version of the story. 

Men, if your lady wants all the details, then we must be okay with giving her all the details. The struggle with communication is communication requires patience. We all come from different backgrounds and were all raised differently. Which is why we can’t assume the way we communicate is the same way our partner will communicate. 

Therefore, we need to learn to build the bridge to communication, so our communication can be unified. Have you ever asked your partner, “What’s the best way to communicate with you?” Some people shut down when the tone of one’s voice becomes too loud. Some need you to be extremely choosey with your words, while others need you to be direct with them. You’ll only understand the level of communication your partner best receives from through communicating with them. 

In Genesis chapter 11 when everyone had the same language, they could build effectively. However, the moment God confused their language, they could no longer build. We know this passage refers to God confusing their language because they wanted to build their name rather that His. This isn’t something we condone, however, there is wisdom to reap from this passage. 

When you’re in unison with your speech, there isn’t a goal you cannot reach. Most goals lay by the wayside because of misplaced communication.

While counseling couples, we’ve found communication is one of the biggest struggles many couples face. There is no better place to turn for help with this struggle than the Bible. There are a few scriptures that have helped us and many others learn to communicate effectively, especially in times of dispute. They are Matthew 5:9, Galatians 5:22-23, and James 1:19.


Read through the scriptures we have listed above and ask yourself, “Have I been communicating with my spouse according to these scriptures?” If not, why and how can you fix that the next time a disagreement arises? 


Heavenly Father, I don’t know it all, but You do. I pray for the wisdom to communicate effectively with my partner. Let my words be grace-filled, edifying, and inspiring so we can glorify Your name and build our God-given dreams. In Jesus name.