For Betrayed Spouses
Adultery left you with a feeling worse than receiving news of a death. One spouse conspires with an enemy of the marriage to satisfy their flesh. The wayward spouse behaves as an enemy while working to maintain the appearance of their spouse's ally, reaping all the benefits that come with such an honor. You feel stupid for not being worthy of their love and loyalty, though deep down you know their sin has nothing to do with how worthy you are.
The enemy of the marriage shows the wayward spouse how little they respect or care for their lover's marriage. With evil and deceitful actions, the wayward spouse agrees that their marriage and their spouse mean very little to them. Meanwhile, the betrayed spouse is kept in the dark about the true status of his/her marriage.
Even in a dead or hurting marriage it is very painful for the spouse to be the last to know that the covenant is broken. It's an embarrassing thing to be made to look like the fool by the very same person who is supposed to tend your heart. It hurts to know that you were the butt of their shared joke. The pain cannot be described. The anger is so great that you begin to fear your own thoughts. You begin to question every single day of your marriage. Your life now has a huge crack in it. On one side "before the affair", on the other side "after the affair". You'll never see people the same again. Now, everyone and their intentions are suspect in your eyes.
Know that God bears witness to how we treat our spouse. Nothing is ever truly done in the dark because the Father sees it all. When I discovered that the joke was on me, I ran to God as fast as I could. I took only my Bible and drove to a favorite place of mine- the local lighthouse. There I cried out to God for hours and told him everything I was feeling. When I couldn't talk anymore the Holy Spirit interpreted my cries and sobs. That day I gave God my heart for safe keeping.
Loved one, give your heart to God. He knows how to mend it. Only he can do it. And please don't blame God. What your spouse did with their free will is their responsibility, and theirs alone. It hurt God even more because he knows every detail. This was not his plan for your marriage. Go to him and just rest in his love.
Grab your Bible and get away.
Created almost 2 years ago