Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
One of the most important issues in marriage is that of unity. In Genesis 2:24 when God created Adam, Eve and marriage He said, “the two shall become one” The term one, describing the unity and intimacy of marriage as God created it, is profound. It reveals God’s plan for an unbroken and undiluted team spirit between a man and a woman that creates the greatest bond that can be experienced on earth between two people.
The practical walking out of “oneness” occurs when a couple works as a team. This begins with the simple decision that neither the husband nor the wife will dominate the other. Dominance kills a spirit of unity and intimacy. The best way to make sure dominance isn’t in a marriage is for both spouses to be submitted to the Lordship of Christ. His Will guiding the marriage creates unity and kills dominance.
Another critical issue related to unity is in making important decisions together. This means that there is a standard in the marriage that establishes a clear understanding that you are one and don’t operate independently of each other. When you are making important decisions related to money, children, extended family, jobs, or other key areas, you consult each other and respect each other’s input.
Karen and I will not do anything of any significance without each other’s agreement and blessing. Early in our marriage we were both independent and stubborn and made decisions on our own. The result was deep anger and resentment that almost caused us to divorce.
Today we realize that God put us together to be a team. We are better together. I can truly say that every decision I make with Karen is a better decision than I could make on my own. God has given Karen a unique perspective that is different from mine. I used to think her input was invalid, but now I realize that she is seeing a part of the world that I can’t see. Her input is invaluable to me, as mine is to her. We make a great team.
Unity is critical for a marriage to work. This means that you don’t dominate each other and that you respect each other’s input and opinions. Resolve that you will never make important decisions without talking and praying together. Be a team player in your marriage and commit to honoring your spouse.
Talk It Out | If you’ve made mistakes in this area, it is important to take responsibility for them and repent to your spouse. Ask for forgiveness and make a commitment that you won’t act independently in the future. Talk about times you have made decisions in unity and how that made you feel about your marriage and each other.
Walk It Out | Next time you are walking together into a store or restaurant, hold your spouse’s hand or slip an arm around each other. It’s a simple but powerful way of demonstrating your oneness and unity.
Created about 1 year ago