Followng after God
I've been praying for my husband to become the spiritual leader in our home. I didn't think he studied the Bible enough. I didn't think he prayed enough. I didn't think he had enough faith. I didn't think he was eager enough to go to church.
Day after day, I quoted scripture with him. I read devotionals to him. I babbled on and on about My relationship with Jesus. I told him all the things I was learning. I told him all about how I felt. I gave him all sorts of advice on how to be a better christian. Now, there's nothing wrong with all the things I was telling him, except that I wasn't sharing the good news so much as trying take spiritual charge of him taking spiritual charge.
My desire is that he follow after God. So why am I standing in the way?
Recently, I became very upset over a situation. I was so distraught and helpless. It is not my nature to give in to helplessness, instead I get angry. The Bible says to get angry and sin not. I am ashamed that let my emotions get the better of me. I got very angry and behaved in a way I shouldn't have. It was my husband who knew only to say "Let God handle this". Because of his words, I turned my mind back to Jesus and repented. Praise God that He is faithful to forgive.
As I've mentioned before, I thank God that He uses our mistakes for our good. When I lost my temper and behaved in a manner not pleasing to Him, He used it as an way for Shawn to lead me spiritually. And because of this, I was able to see that I have to talk to my husband instead of at him. Through this, we were able to talk openly and I learned that those days of drilling at him were intimidating.He felt as though he didn't know enough about the Bible. What he needed more than my advice was encouragement. When the moment came for him to act, he didn't know what to say, so he did the only thing he knew to do- he pointed me to God.
I am so proud of the change I see him now. He gets up early every morning to spend time in the Word and he shares it with me throughout the day. I can see a true desire in him now that I am not judging his methods. His walk is different than mine, and that's ok. He doesn't have to know what to do yet. God will provide the answers when he needs them.
Created about 1 year ago