The Control Trap

I can’t help but chuckle whenever I hear someone pray for patience. In fact, it happened just this morning during our family devotion time.

The lesson was on Cain and Abel, and we focused on how Cain acted rashly in choosing to kill his brother. That led us down a rabbit trail that ended with my family deciding they wanted to pray for patience. I couldn’t help but grin, which of course caught their attention, and they asked what I was thinking.

I told them that when you ask God for patience, He’ll be sure to give you plenty of opportunities to practice it. I didn’t want to discourage their prayer, but I couldn’t find an argument against their desire, either.

If I’m being honest, patience is something I’ve always felt God forgot to include when He made me. He must’ve added a double dose of sarcasm and a touch of stubbornness, but somehow left out the elusive patience gene.

I’ve avoided praying for patience most of my life, not because I dislike patience itself—but because I know the lessons that come with it usually involve situations beyond my control. Maybe that’s the heart of it: it’s not patience I fear, but the loss of control.

Unfortunately, I had a crash course in both.

In July 2025, an accident landed me in the ER with a severely dislocated ankle. Surgery followed—metal plates, twenty screws, and a long recovery ahead. But the swelling never went down.

Then in October, I found myself back in the surgeon’s office hearing words I didn’t expect: “Head to the hospital. We’re doing surgery tonight.” It turned out I had a MRSA staph infection, and all the hardware had to come out. Two surgeries in four days. And then… the waiting.

For one long week in a quiet hospital room, I waited for test results and treatment plans. In that waiting, God taught me something I didn’t expect: surrendering control doesn’t mean giving up—it means trusting.

I had to release control to others, and it was hard. But in that surrender, I found something surprising—peace. I knew the situation was serious, yet I also knew that God had orchestrated every detail to place me exactly where I needed to be, in the care of the people He had prepared.

The longer I walk with Christ, the more I see this truth:
The moments that test my patience the most are often the ones that grow my faith the deepest.

So I’m not sure what my daughters will experience as they pray for patience—hopefully no hospital stays—but I do know this: whatever opportunities God gives them to grow, if they lean into Him fully, they’ll come out stronger on the other side. And that’s something to be excited about.

Reflection Questions:

• Where in your life do you struggle most to give up control?
• How might God be using that situation to strengthen your trust in Him?

Christian Leadership Assessment

Before you move forward, take a minute to assess where you actually stand as a man, a leader, and a follower of Christ.

Every man ends up in one of three places:
Striving. Isolating. Or Leading with Trust.

Most guys don’t slow down long enough to recognize which one is shaping their decisions, their habits, and their spiritual health.

This 5-question Leadership Assessment will help you identify:

• Where you’re leading in your own strength
• Where you’re avoiding the hard things
• Where God is building real, steady, anchored leadership in you

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about awareness.

Because a man can’t lead his family, his team, or anyone else if he isn’t leading himself well first.

Take the assessment and step into the next level of leadership God is calling you to:https://thelionwithin.us/assessment/just-a-guy/without-patience/